"It was a day like any other...  Mildew, the pigeon, hopped from leg to leg and pecked at the grass. As he found a worm and flew off, I felt a pang of sorrow that I could not fly.

"Then I sighed and climbed to my feet. Mildew, as I had dubbed the bird at the time, would be back tomorrow for another worm. Nothing seemed to change in Petal Meadow. The same thing happened day after day after day after day after day after day... 

"SCRAAAAPE!!!!

"Until that day.

"The unbearable sound reached my ears for the first time ever, causing me to freeze and try to bury my head in the grainy, brown dirt. This turned out to be a very bad idea and made the pain to continue long after the noise quieted. While the pounding of my head finally began to dull I noticed some men getting off a large, floaty cave thingy that seemed to be made of tree bark. I had a lot of questions. How did such a big thing float? Why were the men there? What were they doing? Who were they?

"I thought the best way to find out was to go see. That was why my naive younger self set off to seek truth. So while everyone else was running the opposite direction, I hid behind trees, bushes, and rocks as I steadily approached where the men were working. They seemed to be trying to dig the biggest hole in the world. That didn't make sense. Why would-

"Huh, what was that?" one man asked another pointing in my direction. I made a spontaneous split-second decision to leave as fast as I possibly could. I didn't dare come that close for a very long time.

As time progressed, the animals stayed far away from the noisy and possibly dangerous men until an unusually cold autumn day Delilah strayed too close. I became incredibly angry.These monsters had no right to steal members of turkey-kind from their rafters!

"In a storm of rash judgement I decided that I would steal Delilah back. I snuck over to the prison that they were keeping her in and unlocked the creaky door. I sucked in a deep breath and Delilah nearly fainted in fright. When nobody seemed to notice we both let out a relieved breath. Then a superdy duperdy rash idea popped into my head. I asked Delilah if she thought it was a good idea. Before she even answered, her feet were in motion and I assumed she liked it. 

"'Piiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggsssss!' came her war cry as they both barreled down the table covered in food. We wreaked havoc all the way down the table knocking over food and decorations as we flew down the table. We ran so far that the men could never find us again.

"But it looks like we embarassed them so much that they couldn't handle the shame. That's why they covered it up you know. I'll never forget the hilarious look of shock, anger, and helplessness that graced every one of the ugly faces at that unholy table. Now I hear that it was a wonderful feast with the biggest, fattest turkey in all the land? Well, that ain't what I remember! How's it feel to be exposed frauds? How does it feel?"

 

                                                                                                   -Ted the Turkey with the help of Ru's News Top Writer