Hiya! I'm Thean Thingamajig, Ru's News' prime reporter! I'm here to tell you all the things they don't want you to know! Let's get started with today's topic, shall we?

        Oh, Idaho... dear Idaho... I can smell your potatoes from here... 

                                                                                                BUT WAIT

                                                                                       WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

                                                                 IDAHO WAS NO MORE THAN A GOVERNMENT SCHEME

       That's right, you'd believe me. It's a cover up to hide the essential oils from the populous. and I'm talking about the good stuff. potent. pure. The kind of stuff that could beat cancer. and they've taken it. To try and create super-soldiers, to fight in their wars. they grow the ingredients on "Idaho" and pretend that they're just growing potatoes. They use the land as their training ground, to try and control these super-soldiers, and to let their scientists run their horrible experiments... 

    I know that it's easy to believe, and I've seen it with my own three eyes to boot. I barely made it out of there with my spleen intact...

                                                 OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE!!! THE GOVERNMENT IS CONTROLLING YOU!!!

                                      Anyways, 

   <the reporter passed out here due to spleen complications, and we were not able to speak to them until much later. by then they had                                            moved on, and refused to talk about anything but the evil secret plot of chameleons>