Ru's News Dedicated and Elite

Ru's News Business Owner: Persistant and Dedicated- Dede K. Sion

Ru's News Top Writer: Very Real - Riley R. Eal

Ru's News Chief Editor:- Tota Lee 

Ru's News Head Photographer: Definitely not Fake- Newt Faik

Ru's News Prime Reporter- Button Ugget

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Ru's News Other Note Worthy Members

Ru's News Second Writer: Definitely Not a Spy- Gov. Agent 18392679

Ru's News Worst Writer: Still Here.- Factually "Tula" Correct

Head Assistant: Always has candy- Kiddy Napa

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Ru's Permanent Staff

Ru's News Official Label Maker: Definitely Not Bitter- The one article they let me write is not even an article! It's just one big list that no one else wanted to write. No wonder they gave me this stupid article! Nobody would ever want to give me a fun or important assignment even though I've been doing quality work for 90 years! That's right I joined Ru's 60 years before any of these other slackers did and yet here I am writing my first real article in 60 years! I should quit just so that they see how much they should have valued my work! My effort! My dedication to the stories! I have worked long hours, long weeks, and long progress reports, but I've never been given a long article in my life! I would be a great reporter too. I have experience and I work harder than hard. I've never had any major grammar issues (unlike some writers) even in my rough drafts. I do my job so quickly and efficiently that I take on all the extra jobs offered to me in order to make a reasonable living. I know my job is pointless, but if I had the chance to prove I could handle a more prestigious job I'd pass with flying colors. But they won't risk it because if I get a better job that would mean that the business would have an elite member that is not as direct of a descendant of Ru. They just want to protect their image of being a family owned business and they say that I'm to far from the direct descendant line. Why does it have to be the direct descendant line? Why do all the elite members have to be in the same immediate family? I'm not that far away and I've worked harder to earn it than anyone else has. It's not fair! I deserve it more than the privileged bozos that own the company. But life doesn't care about that now does it? I'm going back to my ice cream now and I'll finish this glorified list in a timely manner...      tomorrow.

Ru's News Janitor: Not Overworked- Brendon Rafael Opulent Orian Moon aka the B.R.O.O.M.

Ru's News Secretary: Why do we need her when we have me?- Penny Erasa Nighton aka the P.E.N.

Ru's News Cheesecake Rodeo Rider: A Necessary Position- Bull Lee

Santa: Can Only be Found 13% of the Time- Waldo

 

Ru's News Temporary Staff 

None worth noting as they will be gone soon.

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R.I.P.

Ru's News Neptunian Reporter: Death by Comet- Meeep will be missed.

Ru's News Mascot: We're Open for Hire- Ru died  23456 BC

Ru's News Founder: Left a Legacy- Animalia Blue and her children will be remembered.

Ru's News Athlete: Overworked- The animal Olympics were just too much.

Johanna Moss Tanning: Definitely Did Not Exist- You can't prove anything.

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I hope you feel like you got to know the Ru's News staff a little better and feel safer knowing you can trust them to share the important stories and truly give you the truthiest truth. Thank you for reading.